Of Scarfies, Interdimensional Rifts, and Other Things
by Searing Sunset
Summary: In the beginning, there was but void. Heroes and scenery appeared shorty thereafter, followed by far too many Scarfies. After strange wording is taken too far, the heroes find themselves lost in a world none of them belong to. This is their story. In case you can't tell: CRACK!
1. Scarfy Attack

Our far too many unidentified heroes were traveling aimlessly through blank, boring space, when at last, words appeared. There was an Author, and the oblivion was no more.

Now, where there was void, there were trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket-weavers who sat and smiled and twiddled their thumbs and toes. Thankfully, the Author was not taken away by those nice young men in their clean white coats. Though given the events that would doubtlessly follow, they may not have been entirely wrong in their judgement if they had done so.

Our heroes were given some identities, although they were too many to list here. Seriously, there's way too many of these guys. What, do you think I'm God or something? What? No. I didn't create much, all I do is put words into bizarre orders and give the Protectors of the Plot Continuum a real headache.

But enough about me. There were heroes. And they did stuff.

Quickly, some wild orange, floating puppy faces appeared. In fact, a _lot_ of them appeared, much like how there were far too many heroes. They were, it was clear, cute. To the untrained eye, they were far from intimidating, if slightly odd.

Kirby quickly recognized them, however. Over his many adventures, he had grown quite familiar with Scarfies, and the destruction they caused. Especially if he couldn't find a good copy ability, and fast.

"The **Great** and **Powerful** Trixie, despite her great talent and knowledge, fails to comprehend why this pink ball is so- **_AAAAAAAHGH!_**"

A vacuum noise and a scream, and the blue unicorn in purple robe and wizard hat was gone. Meanwhile, Kirby had a dapper top hat appear upon his pink head, an indication of his newfound Magic Ability. The other heroes had many different thoughts about this, but the general one was some variant of '_holy crap, this kid is messed up'._ After all, he had just eaten another sentient creature, and a My Little Pony at that. Which, frankly, is rather disturbing when you think about it.

Meanwhile Pac-Man, being another hero known for devouring all in his path, tried to eat a Scarfy. It didn't go well, to say the least. To _not_ say the least, our yellow, pizza-shaped friend was horrifically attacked by the adorable floating orange puppy face as it noticed what he was doing and that it was time to stop being adorable. No wonder there are so many Scarfies - they're amazing when it comes to self-defense.

Disregarding this, or perhaps not noticing it, Kirby began tossing playing cards at the Scarfies that were not attacking the classic cheese wheel. This killed the ones that were hit, though there were far too many for him to handle alone.

Phineas and Ferb decided it was time to weaponize their project for today, which happened to be a giant mecha highly reminiscent of many anime series. Luckily, they had built a large number of missile launchers, laser cannons and flamethrowers into it for no real reason. Sadly, they had not been tested on anything, and so they mostly just hit Mega Man. He was not happy. He was, however, lucky to be alive.

Pac-Man was _not_ so lucky, which is to say he was dead. Perhaps someone should have done something about the fact that he was being mauled.

That was when Pikachu jumped into action, as he had somehow not thought to do before. He had cared for Pac-Man very much indeed, and seeing his love's pie chart-like corpse was something he refused to allow the orange terrors to get away with having caused. He tore and he bit and he electrocuted, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure his species can't learn Bite, until his PP ran out and he was exhausted. Many Scarfies fell to his wrath before he began to use Struggle.

Red had a bag well-stocked with Elixirs, and used some on Pikachu, allowing the rodent to continue his revenge.

Barney the Dinosaur didn't know what violence was, and was torn apart by Scarfies as soon as they noticed him. He had led a blissful life, although it was quite cringe-worthy to those over six months old.

Conker found a large button on the ground which had the letter B on it. He stood upon it and found himself holding a machine gun, which greatly aided in diminishing the Scarfy horde. However, copious amounts of gratuitous blood flew everywhere, causing much disgust in some heroes. Others found it _hilarious_ how far from family-friendly a talking squirrel can be.

While the machine guns and Thunderbolts deafened everyone, and gore splattered the scenery, Phineas and Ferb had procured their toolbox from somewhere unknown and got to work fixing their large, generic mecha.

Kirby was unfazed by the mess, much like most things that were not food or his friends or enemies, and let several crazed attack doves out of his hat. The Scarfies clearly were somewhat more lacking in numbers by now.

Before the mecha could be fixed, the doves could actually attack, Mega Man could be healed and Pac-Man could be given a proper burial, Inuyasha appeared.

_"Kaze no Kizu!"_

The Wind Scar being what it was, and Scarfies not being particularly good at surviving such strong attacks, the fight was promptly won. However, Mega Man was now once again teetering on the edge of death. Luckily for him, Sesshomaru had coincidentally appeared right after his half-brother, and used Tenseiga to bring the android back to Healthy Land for no clear reason. Everyone promptly wondered what Healthy Land was and how he got there the first time, in part because they had somehow come with him.

This posed a problem.

They rather needed to get back home to their own respective continua.


	2. Fruit and Dances in Healthy Land

**I don't own any of the series featured here. I barely even know Mega Man, and should not have included him. What's done is done, though. This has been your mandatory disclaimer and I'm sorry for having waited until Chapter 2 to put any notes of any kind, disclaimer-y or otherwise.**

**Now enjoy the nonsense I typed into WordPad while bored. ENJOY IT IT SAY! ...Unless you don't. In which case I'm sorry.**

* * *

Everyone was confused.

Well, most of everyone. It seemed that wording strange enough to open a rift in time and space could lead to whoever was sucked through having their left foot fall asleep. Pins and needles, man. They suck.

Also excluding Jigglypuff and Snorlax, who, much like the feet, were also asleep. When you've gotta take a nap you've gotta take a nap.

Sonic was the first to speak up. "What _is_ this place?"

Mega Man replied, "Healthy Land. I've been here before, and don't ask. The name makes about as much sense as anything else here."

"Well, how did you get home?" Princess Peach questioned.

"I don't know."

Peach was promptly kidnapped by Bowser.

Toad facepalmed. "I swear, every time... Mario, Luigi, let's go try and see if there's any castles around here. Preferable not eight of them, you guys really do need to work on your sense of direction. Everyone else, don't worry about us, this happens all the time."

The aforementioned three left.

SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

Pineapples were everywhere. Pineapples underfoot, pineapples overhead, pineapples onmiddle, pineapples _everywhere_. Pineapples quickly stopped looking like they were a word. There had probably never been this many pineapples in one place before in the history of time.

This did not comfort the mourning Pikachu in the slightest. He was staring at the deceased Pac-Man's body in an overly dramatic fashion. When it had become covered in spiky fruit, all he did was bat the pineapples away with Iron Tail.

The cat-sized rodent attempted to say 'I'm sorry my pizza-shaped love, I'm sorry I didn't save you...' but, being a Pikachu, was unable to say more than "Pika pi pi pika, pi chu, pika chuuu..."

Sesshomaru, quickly growing tired of this display, and _avoiding_ description issues, used Tenseiga to bring Pac-Man back to life. Pikachu was ecstatic.

Pokémon and yellow pie chart somehow shared a loving embrace, despite the lack-of-real-arms problem. The Power of Love triumphs over physics once again! Or maybe it was just a side-effect of Pinkie Pie being nearby. When she's around, anything is possible.

Meanwhile, Kirby tripped over a pineapple and lost his Magic Ability. Realizing what it was, he promptly started inhaling the pineapples. Snorlax was woken up by the sound of fruit being violently sucked up by a little pink vacuum, and promptly joined Kirby for lunch. Pac-Man did so as well, leaving Pikachu stunned by the recent emotional roller-coaster.

The tall piles of pineapples now being gone, and still neither pine nor apple, something the fruit had been hiding became quite visible.

Despite the fact that had he been in his right mind, he would not want to be visible.

It was Meta Knight.

Maskless.

Doing the _macarena._

"Poyo?!"

"Oh Celestia, he's lost his mind!" Rarity cried.

"No. He is possessed by Dark Matter. _Zero_ has lost his... or its? I'll just say his. Zero has lost his mind." Ribbon said, slightly confused as to which gender pronoun to use for the horrific abomination.

On closer inspection, it was clear that the pink-haired fairy was right. He showed clear signs of being possessed, such as having fangs and an even darker appearance than usual, as well as acting _completely out of character_.

An unidentified voice asked "Zero? Do you mean the robot, the other robot, the vampire, or the-"

Ribbon clarified for everyone's sake. There were simply too many Zeroes. "_The terrible bleeding eye creature that attacked my people._ He controls Dark Matter, which, as you all know by now, can possess people."

A collective "Oh."

"Well, is there any way we can help?" Rarity asked.

The fairy sighed. "Well, you could always... beat the curse out of him."

"But this doesn't seem so bad." Pinkie Pie noted.

"Wait until he finds out what you let him do under the influence." Although the knight had never really visited Ripple Star, she had heard about him, and it was not usually considered a good idea to anger someone who fought demons and wrestled wolves off of cliffs. She shuddered at the thought.

Pikachu wasn't going to let them waste any more time arguing. He had temporarily lost the love of his life, and refused to lose anyone else. As such, the Pokémon dashed over and used Slam and Iron Tail on the dancing knight until the Dark Matter saw fit to leave its host. Which, of course, it did, in part thanks to it having blatantly refused to do anything _other_ than dance.

Zero was indeed very insane, and he was now in Healthy Land.


End file.
